"R, can you please exhibit the right emotions here?" pleaded my drama teacher in elementary school. She would curl up her papers to control her desperation while I giggled over a scene that needed composure and a serious face.
My acting was so bad that my confused look in the play gave the impression that I had a cold, and my nervous act made people laugh because they thought I was silly.
By Golly! Ruining the whole essence of the play.
Although I was fascinated by the Hollywood and Bollywood worlds that surrounded me, I entered the drama club each year until I became a teen. I was always given a sideline because of my acting skills. I honestly did not care for just being on the stage with all those props; thus, even if I had to say one word in the play, I would be exhilarated over having a part in it.
As a teen, my interest in acting was losing hope because my emotions and words would never be in synch, especially when the time demanded.
It was a tough pill to swallow, realizing that my dream of becoming an actor was slipping through my fingers. But I didn't give up. I spent countless hours in front of the mirror, trying to perfect my craft, but it was all in vain.
However, amidst the many hours I spent with me-myself-I in front of the mirror, I realized how numerous thoughts would come to me when I tried to enact a particular emotion. Incidents that make me happy, angry, worried, and anxious. All those episodes would rush in with the uttering of the word that had accumulated in some corner of my gray cells. No wonder when I would sit down to study the thick books of my academia, they would refuse to absorb since the brain cells would give off that signal indicating storage near to complete. (Pun Intended!)
It made me reflect on the amount of baggage I was carrying, especially at such a young age in my 20s. I was ambitious to pursue many goals, but it would hinder my progress if I clung to those past reflections.
I realized that I needed to let go of this passion for acting, especially since, after many attempts, the ball had not gone into the net.
However, the question remains: How many times should we try to hit the ball toward the goal before we decide to give up? I suppose if it starts affecting your other goals, then we ought to give up on the one that is a hindrance.
Embrace your failure and move on!
This became my mantra.
Although it took years to let go, I am glad that my failure to become an actor made me realize that acting was one of the many goals I had to release!
As I stand here today, my grey hair filled with wisdom and memories, I feel content with the times I aimed to hit the ball into the net for various hobbies. Some attempts resulted in goals, while many did not.
Acceptance was the key factor!
Mantra for today: Failure is a stepping stone to success as long as we are aware of the setback and choose to act on it.
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This is pure fiction!
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