Dancing on the Thin Line of Focus and Joy

 

Throughout childhood, many of us remember the familiar advice from our parents: “Focus on your goals and avoid distractions.” 

At the time, this advice often felt limiting. We blamed our parents for taking away life's simple pleasures and resented their focus on discipline and future planning.

I had to give up fun for the sake of my ambitions, especially since I didn’t draw a clear line between my discipline and to-do list. However, because I regretted not being able to have fun, I excelled at neither!

Looking back, I realize I should have understood the importance of scheduling specific time for both work and rest by blocking out hours for relaxation, without feeling guilty about unfinished tasks. This would have made my work time more productive and helped me actually enjoy my downtime, instead of feeling like I was missing out on both.

Yet, as adulthood came, things changed. Responsibilities grew, goals changed, and the challenge moved from just focusing to finding balance. Suddenly, our parents’ words became clear. We wished we had worked harder on our goals when things were easier, and there were fewer distractions. Finding balance—between work and free time, ambition and rest—became a life skill much more complex than we thought as kids.

Looking back, I see that both enjoyment and focus are important. The challenge isn't to choose one over the other, but to combine them, enjoying the process while working toward important goals. For example, while I worked on my professional certification during the week, I should have saved my weekends for hiking and hanging out with friends. To do that, I needed to put in enough hours during the week to relax on weekends, but poor time management left me with no fun and mostly boredom.

A simple time management tip would have helped me: block out specific times in my calendar for both work and fun. For instance, scheduling focused work hours each day and also setting aside non-negotiable time for rest or hobbies ensures that neither gets neglected. This practical method can help anyone start building a better balance, rather than feeling pulled in two directions.

In this light, our parents’ advice was less a denial of pleasure and more an invitation to a fuller, more intentional life.

My two cents: As you reflect on your own routines, consider where you might add structure to create space for both focus and enjoyment. What small changes could you make this week to balance your ambitions with moments of rest? Taking just one step toward intentional time management can help you move closer to the balanced life you want.

Reflection Guide

 

Every so often, I pause to take stock of my life—turning over both the blessings that fill me with gratitude and the struggles that have shaped me.

These moments invite me to look inside myself, sort through my thoughts and feelings, and reflect on the choices I've made. By doing this, I find patterns and lessons that help me make better decisions and live more purposefully.

“Life can only be understood backward; but it must be lived forwards.”
― Søren Kierkegaard

There are seven reasons to reflect upon. For each, try these simple exercises to help deepen your practice:

• Review: Take time to think about your mistakes and learn from them. Exercise: At the end of each week, write in a journal one mistake you made and what you learned from it. For example: Holding on to an emotion that ended up hurting you instead of the body where it started.

• Rise: Find ideas and advice to help you move forward from where you are now. Exercise: Make a list of small actions you can take to improve your situation, then pick one to do this week.

• Relief: Look at your situation and find relief by asking for help or finding a way to fix it. Exercise: Think of something that has been bothering you, and talk to a friend or mentor for advice or support.
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• Recollection: Remember both happy and difficult memories and accept them. Exercise: Spend ten minutes quietly thinking about an important memory, and write about how it has affected you.
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• Remedies: Look at your current situation and think of ways to solve problems. Exercise: Choose a challenge you are facing, come up with three possible solutions, and try at least one.
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• Readdress: Accepting the past and making changes helps you address issues
  
  positively and build a strong foundation for the future. Exercise: Think about a past decision you regret, and write a letter to yourself about what you would do differently now.
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• Realization: Awareness is key to making progress in all parts of life. If you know your habits and actions, you can reflect on them and try to change for the better. Exercise: Keep a daily record of one habit you want to improve, noticing what causes it and how you react.

Mantra for today: Thinking about your life and accepting your present will help you move closer to success. 

To do this, spend a few moments at the end of each day writing down one thing you learned or noticed about yourself. This simple habit can make reflection a regular part of your path to success.

The Fault in our Stares

Let’s face it: the real pandemic isn’t a virus; it’s awkward eye contact. You know the feeling—one minute, you’re minding your own business, and the next, you’ve locked eyes with someone across the subway, grocery aisle, or while waiting for your order at a restaurant.

Welcome to the modern tragedy that no Shakespeare could have written: The Fault in Our Stares.

It starts simply. You’re bored, your eyes drift, and—bam! Someone else is doing the same. For a moment, you both think about pretending you were really looking at that interesting spot on the wall. But it’s too late. You’ve made a silent connection that gets stronger the longer neither of you looks away.

At this point, social protocol demands a reaction.

You might smile awkwardly or quickly look away and start checking your phone like something important just appeared on your screen.

The Moral of the Story

There’s no easy solution to the fault in our stares. We can’t all be masters of casualness.

But remember: everyone feels just as awkward as you do. So next time you lock eyes with a stranger, give a nod to show you understand. If you want to ease the tension, pretend you suddenly remembered something surprising and look away with a dramatic expression.

Or, if you are feeling bold, raise your eyebrows as if to say, "Hey, we’re in this together."

And if nothing else works, pretend you’re looking at an interesting ceiling tile. People will appreciate it.

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I’ll never forget my most memorable eye contact mistake: I was waiting for coffee, accidentally stared at a stranger for too long, our eyes met, I panicked, and decided to pretend I was really interested in the pastries behind him which I was forced to buy to prove my innocence!! 

A World Beyond Fiction

Many times, friends have asked me about my change from biochemist to writer. 

Why?

What happened?

"Biochemistry is all about logic, train of thought, and science that actually makes sense. And now you are in a world filled with fiction?" 

Sure, that is not a pleasant thing to say, but then I wonder: we are all living in a world of fiction where tomorrow is uncertain and yesterday was full of drama and emotions, while today is a rinse-and-repeat of yesterday.

So really, we are all getting our feet wet in this confusing world. The only difference is that I am writing down my thoughts, letting my mind explore, while others keep everything mixed up in their heads as they think and think about what is bothering them and can’t find an answer! 

Seeing their confused look, I then ask them to try this: set a timer for five minutes and write whatever is on your mind, without worrying about structure or grammar. It can be a feeling, a moment from today, or even a question that keeps coming back. Let your thoughts flow onto the page and see where it leads you.

We now live in a world full of lies and myths, and it doesn’t get any stranger than this!

The only difference is that a few of us can turn that fiction into words. Meanwhile, most keep it all inside because they don’t find the right words, moving restlessly like a Duracell bunny hoping to find a way to solve their inner struggles.

Nothing is stranger than fiction because we are all living it, breathing it, often without realizing it, and when asked a very personal but basic question, "How are you doing?"

Many think about it and wonder how they have really been doing!

Seriously!

Do we actually need others to ask us that to think about it?

My 2 cents

How much stranger can it get than this? How much pain can a person bear besides living in a world full of uncertainty?

Let's live beyond fiction by being determined in our today. This means making intentional choices, even when the world feels uncertain or overwhelming. Start penning those thoughts since the solution to each problem lies within us. 

Reflection on Kinship Connection

 I always wonder: if we are all the children of the divine, then why is there hatred between us? It’s like we have the same parents, but as siblings, we compete; we sneer; we frown at each other most of the time.

Why?

What makes us do the above?

Our parents have given us plenty of resources—plenty to share and enjoy—but we continue with the behavior and bring so much agony to all. This agony takes many forms: it seeps into our hearts as loneliness or resentment, surfaces in our societies as division and strife, and, at its core, wounds the spirit with a quiet ache that we do not truly belong to one another. Whether emotional, societal, or spiritual, this suffering lingers, casting shadows over the abundance we have been given.

Maybe it’s something in our nature—some ancient urge to be seen, to be special, to be chosen from among the others. If we are all children of the divine, perhaps we are also children of insecurity. Is it possible that, despite the abundance around us, we’re haunted by a sense of lack—an invisible scarcity that drives us apart? Sometimes it feels like we compete not for resources, but for love, attention, and a sense of meaning in the eyes of our supposed parent, not realizing that our parent has no discrimination. It’s only in our eyes!

Or perhaps we have forgotten our shared origin, distracted by our differences and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. Maybe the divine inheritance isn’t just the world we live in, but the capacity to choose: to turn toward one another, or away.

I invite you to pause for a moment and recall a time in your own life when you stood at such a crossroads. When did you choose connection? When did you turn away? What drew you toward one path or the other?

But if that’s true, then why do we so often choose the latter? Why do we fear each other, even when we’re so much the same? Maybe it’s easier to define ourselves against others—to draw a line, to say, “I am not you”—than to risk the vulnerability of true kinship. But in doing so, we miss the very acceptance and love we’re longing for. Maybe the first step toward healing is daring to be honest about our imperfection, to let ourselves be seen and to see others in their wholeness, too.

Still, I keep wondering: what would it take to remember? To set aside the competition and suspicion, and see each other as siblings again? Is it even possible? Or is conflict simply a part of the human story, woven into our legacy, something we’re called to wrestle with, not resolve? The question lingers, unresolved, inviting me to keep turning it over, to follow it wherever it might lead.

Perhaps the very act of wondering is a step inwards. Today, we can each approach someone with a little more patience, or listen just a bit more deeply. If we practice empathy in small ways—offering understanding instead of judgment—we might begin to chip away at the barriers between us. Even a simple, honest moment of compassion could gently shift us toward remembering our connection.

Baby steps could eventually lead us to a happily ever after. Let’s start minute by minute, then hour by hour, and build to day by day. I hope it becomes ingrained in us to see each other not as competition but as siblings, and to imagine the power of union rather than jealousy and hatred. 

We will save each other by the above action! 

Love for Humanity

Imagine walking down a deserted street in broad daylight; it can feel unsettling and even eerie.
However, if the same street is occupied by a few other people—even strangers—you feel more at ease and continue your journey without worry.

Humans are inherently social beings. Even among countless unfamiliar faces, we find comfort simply in their presence.

Growing up, I was constantly surrounded by both familiar and unfamiliar faces—thanks to my dad.

As a result, I rarely had the opportunity to reflect on my actions, because wherever I turned, someone was always nearby—ready to point out my faults or celebrate my achievements.
At times, it felt overwhelming—especially during my teenage years when I craved personal space. Yet my father would remind me of the blessings of humanity and its importance.

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
Mahatma Gandhi

His faith in humanity and relationships was unparalleled.

He always went out of his way to help family and friends in need, never hesitating to offer support. He believed that humanity thrives on love and compassion, and always emphasized the importance of helping others.

He was such a loving soul that, even during his final days battling stage 4 prostate cancer, he made sure to thank and reward those who cared for him in the hospital.

A generous heart, kind words, and a life devoted to service and compassion are qualities that rekindle humanity.
— Dalai Lama

At times, his unwavering belief in humanity felt overwhelming to me. Yet when I witnessed the immense turnout at his funeral and listened to countless stories of how he touched people's lives, it was truly moving—those memories still give me goosebumps.

Mantra for today: Love the human race—because you are part of it.

What's in your grocery bag?

 When shopping for groceries, do you ever glance at the expiration date of produce or the label on the food?

If yes, then kudos to your presence of mind, since lately I have observed people doing two things while shopping. They are mostly on a call, or listening to a podcast or music. When asked, they find it a boring chore, but since they have to do it to be able to cook at home, they ought to go grocery shopping.

There are a handful of people who still prefer groceries to be delivered to their doorstep since shopping in person is a big waste of time when they can either hit the gym or do something productive with that one hour.

For those who choose delivery, being a mindful shopper is just as important. Even when ordering online, you can take a few extra minutes to check product descriptions, look for nutrition information, and opt for fresh produce. Reading labels and selecting items that are in season or less processed can help you make healthier choices, even if you are not in the store.

Stickers are found on all the food items that we purchase, but little do we notice the numbers on them. These numbers are called price look-up (PLU) numbers, and they say a lot about our health and the history of the produce, such as where it was grown, how it was developed, and under what circumstances it was cultivated. The PLU number is significant and is mandatory for all produce.

The number of digits in the PLU number matters. An easy way to remember: Four digits means conventionally grown (with pesticides), five digits starting with 8 means genetically modified (GMO), and five digits starting with 9 means organic. 

So, think 4 = conventional, 8 = GMO, 9 = organic.

If it is a four-digit sticker, then that produce was grown with the help of pesticides. Example: Bananas having a code of 4011
If the sticker is a five-digit sticker and the number starts with an 8, then that produce has been genetically modified. Example: Banana having a code of 84011
If the PLU number has five digits and the number starts with 9, then that food has been grown organically. Example: Banana having a code of 94011

Humans are advised to eat at least 3-4 servings of fruit and vegetables per day. We should lower our pesticide intake by eating the least contaminated produce.

Some of the produce that is highly contaminated and should be eaten organically includes strawberries, spinach, apples, nectarines, grapes, peaches, cherries, pears, tomatoes, celery, and potatoes. These items tend to have higher levels of pesticide residues, so it is best to prioritize buying them organic whenever possible. A complete list is provided in the table below.

Celery	Spinach	Blueberries
Sweet Bell Peppers	Lettuce
Peaches	Cucumbers
Strawberries	Green beans

Some produce items do not need to be organic because they tend to have low pesticide residues. Examples of these low-risk items include avocados, onions, sweet corn, pineapples, papayas, asparagus, mangoes, eggplants, and cantaloupe.

Choosing these non-organic options can help you shop smartly if organic options are unavailable or too expensive. The list is given below in a table format.

Sweet Corn	Asparagus	Mushrooms
Pineapples	Mangoes	Papaya
Avocade	Eggplant	Plums
Cabbage	Kiwi	Winter Squash

Foods are also genetically engineered to be herbicide- or insect-resistant, but experts have found this mutation to alter the nutritional value of many crops. Some of the most common genetically modified foods include corn, soybeans, canola, cottonseed, sugar beets, papaya, zucchini, and summer squash. These foods are widely grown in genetically modified varieties, so it is helpful to know them when making food choices. The list is documented in a table format.

Soybeans	Golden Rice
Corn	Apples
Canola

When shopping for foods, look out for:

• PLU numbers, which are small stickers found on the food and comply with the above rules.
• Look for the USDA Organic Seal. This seal certifies that food is produced without the use of antibiotics, synthetic hormones, or genetic engineering.
• Look for Non-GMO labels. This label certifies that it is not genetically modified (non-GM); however, this does not mean the product is organic.
• Look for the rBST-free or rbGH-free seal. This certifies that animals are not injected with recombinant bovine growth hormone to boost milk production. However, many brands swear to be rBST-free, but it is always good to be aware of it.

All humans are exposed to genetically modified (GMO) and non-GMO foods. There has been ongoing public debate over the health effects of GMOs. Most scientific research and expert organizations, such as the World Health Organization and the National Academy of Sciences, report that GMOs currently approved for sale are considered safe to eat and have not been shown to pose greater health risks than conventional foods. However, some groups and individuals continue to raise concerns about potential long-term health impacts, possible allergic reactions, and environmental effects. Because research is ongoing and opinions may differ, many people prefer to have the choice to avoid GMOs when possible. 

Recently, North America created a non-profit organization that is raising awareness of genetically modified products and their effects, since they believe that everyone deserves an informed choice about whether or not to consume GMO foods.

The Non-GMO.org Website has information about the various foods subjected to mutations and what choices people can make to avoid consuming them.

Conclusion

A life lived with good health is worth more than being a billionaire. This kind of billionaire is truly rich—and best of all, never has to pay any taxes on their priceless fortune.

Next time you shop for groceries, remember that cooking at home is healthy—but the journey to better health truly begins when you carefully choose your ingredients. Be mindful in the store, as every healthy meal starts in your shopping cart.