Thursday, July 28, 2016

From Acting to Mindfulness

"R can you please exhibit the right emotions here!" pleaded my drama teacher in elementary school as she would curl up her papers to control her desperation while I would giggle over a scene that needed composure and a serious face.

My acting was so bad that my confused look in the play would give the impression that I have a cold, and my nervous act would make people laugh since they would think I was silly.

By Golly! Ruining the whole essence of the play.

I have to admit I am the worst actor ever. 

Although I was quite fascinated by the Hollywood and Bollywood world that surrounds me, thus each year until I became a teen, I would enter the drama club and would always be given a sideline because of my acting skills. I honestly did not care for just being on the stage with all those props excited me thus, even if I had to say one word in the play, I would be exhilarated over having a part in it.

Past teen, I actually realized the importance of roles, and thus my interest faded in acting since my emotions, and my words would never be in synch especially when the time would demand.

No doubt I was very disturbed and heartbroken with my decision since I had this adoration to be an actor some day. I would be looking into the mirror and taking self-acting classes but, to no luck.

However, amidst the many hours I spent with me-myself-I in front of the mirror, I realized how thoughts would come to me when I would try to enact a particular emotion. Incidents that would actually make me happy ponder, angry, worried, anxious. All those episodes would rush in, with the utter of the word that had accumulated in some corner of my gray cells. No wonder when I would sit down to study the thick books of my academia; they would refuse to absorb since the brain cells would give off that signal indicating storage near to full. (Pun Intended!)

It made me ponder over how much baggage I was already holding, and I was just in my 20's. I had the ambition to attain many degrees in life, and if I hung on to those reflections, I would have to let go of this goal of my life just as I let go of my acting dream.

Forgive and Forget became my mantra and now all those incidents are history which no doubt took years, but I am glad that my failure to be an actor made me stand where I am today!

Mantra for today: Failure IS the stepping stone to success as long as we are aware of what caused the failure!

This is pure fiction!

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