Is there a Fear Factor?

My reasons for apprehensions are usually associated with chores, or emotions for a loved one.

My "But's" and "If's"that arise either due to some dilemma or due to my arthritis that  slows me down, which gives me a guilt factor and make me spring up in action more so to keep the feelings intact, and not create a scene.

It's not the fear that holds one back.

It is the regret to make someone unhappy especially when they are expecting something from you.

Expectations sure can be treacherous but, that's how we all get into a relationship in the first place, Correct?

Until man continues to live as a social animal, the fear factor will not die off since a life without relationships will cease all communications and correspondence.

Result
To live a life without fear,  man has either embraced solitude or has detached from the society.

Thus, until I decide to confinement, I wanna stay "afraid"

I want to have a fear factor within me since that helps the inside me to stay motivated and inspired to join in the hustle- bustle of the daily life. This kind of emotion even though can get stressful at times, helps me walk along with my brethren's who are also sailing in the same boat while strutting along the path of life.

However, when it comes to being afraid of things such as specific animals or certain events. I need to test my guts and determination to face those fears and get over them! Since in the end, it's all a sound practical judgement that is independent of each being.

We all fear something or the other in this life.

Mantra for today: Being afraid is like making a selection, choice is ours to make!

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The above post has been written for Everyday Gyaan

Fear be-gone!

"Mom I am going for my class." I announce as I walk past the kitchen.

"Alright!" she replies and continues, "arrival the same time or you will be taking a detour?" 

"Nah! I will be back the same time. Arpita has a ride home today." I counter as I pause my steps.

I hit the elevator button and wait patiently for the ding sound.

Door open, I walk in, and press the G button, the elevator doors are closing and I get busy with my phone. Just then a swift noise is heard with a blow of the gentle wind. I look up from my screen to see someone accompany me in that 4*4 area. Seeing this body, my instant reaction is a loud shriek. I want to open the door so that he could go away, but it is too late. The door is shut, and the elevator is moving down. (Darn! these man-made machines are swifter than us)

I looked in his eyes, and thought how bad could it be. it's just a matter of few seconds, and even though I get the creeps of his sight, I get busy with my phone although partially looking at him from the sides of my eyes.

Just then a loud bang is heard and that makes me fall in one corner of the area. The lights of the elevator go off, and I realize my elevator is stationary. This body also loses his balance, but somehow can retrieve it and is staring at the door while giving out a silent yelp. 

Yeah! You got it right fella. I want to shout loud as well. 

Get a hold of my cell phone and dial my mom, she picks up but since the signal is weak, the message cannot be transcribed by her.

 I feel helpless. 

Text her with the hope that since it requires less bandwidth I will be able to get it across. 

After a few minutes, I hear a clink and see a text back from her, asking me to hold still as she is contacting the lift man and resolving this problem. I breathe in a big sigh of relief, and use the Torch app (thank heavens for the invention of these apps) and place the phone in my lap. More so to observe this creature next to me, who is ogling me. This action is making me so uncomfortable as I twist my mouth to show him my discontent towards him. This fellow is persistent, I give out a soft murmur as if to scram him, he goes away, but after a few seconds comes back to me again. This process is being repeated now and then. I understand he is attracted to the light coming from the phone, I quickly place it away from me, and towards him. This fella, stares at it and then sits beside it. 

I am checking out all his moves from a distance, and realize how fragile he can be and yet can defend himself when angry. I go back memory lane when an incident made me fear of him, and alas that fear is still hidden somewhere in me that refuses to leave. I take the liberty to dig into that apprehension, and feed some fodder to my creeps by reasoning out within me. 

Just then our eyes meet.

I am mystified. That gentle gaze has so much to say. As I pierce into his benign eyes, I see mixed emotions. I pity this creature as it sits at an arm's distance with my phone serving as our barrier. 

I lift my hand with great effort and push it towards him as I stroke his smooth head. I am self-conscious in the beginning, but after seeing a strange bliss in his eyes, I could not resist and continued with my act. The 4*4 space of the elevator is not feeling constrained anymore since there is affection, and a strange closeness between the two bodies. I did not find him intrigued anymore. He was one of a kind, and as I bid adios to my bitter memory over this creature; I feel and hear simultaneously a loud bang as the elevator springs to life. In a few seconds, we reach the ground floor, and when the door clinks open. I see my mom, and my neighbor who are happy to see us. 

We both get up at the same time, and as I embrace my mom. This creature gives out a loud woof and goes and licks his master. 

Although I was late for my class. I felt blessed to be kept in the same room with the canine mammal since my fear towards it, was making my life miserable. A dog on the street, I would prefer to de-route my path. Friend has this pet, I would avoid going to her place. The name "Dog" would give me the creeps thus increasing fear for him in the first place.

This fear was making me inadequate and by taking some (unplanned) quality time with my fear, I could liberate myself from it and embrace the new change within, and it was emancipating!

Mantra for today: Life is too short to be living in fear. Understand your apprehensions, and reason within.

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This post is written for Project365 with a theme, "You’re stuck in an elevator with an intriguing stranger. 

Write this scene."

Fear Factor

Fear is a noun that causes apprehensions when the mind is confused over something.

I was in turmoil when my family went camping over the memorial day weekend. We accompanied our kids boy scouts troop.

Company and the food was in abundance. However, lights out was ordered at 10pm. We went to our respective tents to retire for the evening.

Usually a new place, does not make me sleep immediately. I was tossing around consciously, but with my eyes shut, so that my mind does not drift away to other places while I try to lull my body to sleep.

Suddenly, I hear foot steps around my tent. I could not refrain myself from keeping my eyes shut; I immediately opened them and tried to follow those footsteps by my ears while trying hard to come to a conclusion. There were 5 tents around my tent so, initially I thought it must be one of the persons from the tent, but this noise was very near my tent and would not go. I thought of it as a bear.

I did not want to sit up and wake up my family over it. My heart was beating fast that I could not breathe. My mind was racing relentlessly, and I could not think straight.

Then, I quickly forced my eyes shut, and took deep breaths. I told myself that I ought to remain calm and think straight. Grounded my self and started thinking of strategies to face this situation.

The noise was still coming, and I was confused that why hadn't this animal attacked yet?

I got up slowly while taking deep breaths, and I noticed a distinctive smell in the air. This smell usually occurs when it rains.

It was the RAIN

I mocked at myself on how the mind can make up things and take an individual into a trauma. This trauma avoids a man to use his senses.

Did you have any such occasion when your mind took over your senses?

Mantra for today: Controlling one's mind is tough, but awareness is the key!