Nobody knew it!
Not until I gave it out!
This was a secret I told my friends ~20 years back, and while it was with me; it squeezed the pulp out of me.
It was so bad that I could hardly sleep since I would enjoy the "checking out" but giggle over it, ALONE!
That was so annoying, but I continued to do it.
Nobody knows that I had a crush on a guy!
Then finally, after a year or so I gave in. I told the world (i.e., my parents and 'close' friends)
Yes, it soon became "had" since I lost the thrill of giggling all alone.
Sure, that was the 80's then and talking about crushes during that time was a hush hush or let's say at least in my family.
Saying it out loud was like a tranquilizer to me, and I felt all my nerves relax as I was back to enjoying my teen years.
I also wanted to go back and have a 're-crush' on him. But, my solo harsh comments had wiped off all the cuteness in him.
“A good friend keeps your secrets for you. A best friend helps you keep your own secrets.”
― Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall
Some Gyaan that I gathered after keeping a Secret
We keep secrets within or share it with just a handful of people cause we are embarrassed to say it out loud to the general public.
Then we fear about those secrets, and we stay cautioned about it always. It is like being on guard 24/7 or hounding like a dog over those people who know our code.
Just imagine all our energy is going wasted over people whom we confided in or just digging one's conscious over a secret we dare not whisper about it.
Research has indicated that usually woman can't keep secrets and tends to confide in people around and then repent over it. While men are from another planet, they can suck inside them way deep and thus, the reason of a pot belly!!
Either way, why keep secrets?
Although again researchers have indicated that you ought to keep some from your friend, or a better half just to keep the relationship healthy.
Okay if you do want to keep them...flush them down your backside cause keeping it within you will just keep eating you alive.
Our memory is the basis of our intolerance towards anything unfavorable. Memories die hard especially the bad ones thus, difficult to eradicate from the grey cells.
I'd say, "If there is a will there is a way."
My 2 cents
Reason out within yourself about that little secret of yours and make a justification in your favor. This will definitely pep you up mentally and emotionally, and thus, help you let go of it. Also, if your unrevealed act is bid farewell in a positive way, the chances are that whenever you do get a flashback of it. It will not haunt you or make you feel guilty.
Mantra for today: Reason within yourself for every act and justify it for a life without secrets!
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.